Delhi to London

In the last 229 days I have travelled 12 173 miles overland from London to Singapore and then another 6036 miles overland through the Philippines, Australia and India.  

Agra back to Delhi

In which I am served a meal I'm way too young for
Starring Satyenden who grew up on the streets

Jaipur to Bharatpur and Agra

In which shoes get exchanged and the Taj Mahal gets miniaturised

Starring Jack the multitasker who earns £1 a day and a kid in search of a ferry ticket

Udaipur to Jaipur

In which even the dogs and cows get involved in playing Holi

Starring a human napkin dispenser and a persistent Lilliputian

Ranakpur to Udaipur

In which I wish I had heard the horse’s side of things and we learn that if you can love a camel you can love anyone

Starring a woman we (unfortunately) paid to dance on glass and a art teacher bullied into drawing a peacock

Jodphur to Nimaj and Ranakpur

In which flip flops prove to be inadequate and we take some of Gandhi’s advice

Starring Divia Kumani the first woman in her village to sit outside

Jaisalmer to Jodhpur

In which I accidentally go into business with a palm reader and a helpful gesture is massively misinterpreted
Starring the Maharaja

Bikaner to Jaisalmer

In which tea comes in a plastic bag and we are the bone in the romantic kebab
Starring Kani the non-conformist camel

Mandawa to Bikaner

In which the white rat proves elusive and the silver is edible
Starring Mr Jain a 32nd generation priest with exceptional digital photography skills.

Delhi to Mandawa

In which we turn down two offers to dance
Starring Panchem who can create the most incredible things out of napkins

Delhi

In which there is a VIP moment and I learn to use Indian GPS
Starring Punit whose lessons in how to say 'no' turned out to be extremely useful.

Melbourne

In which there are no surprises about the coffee or the comparisons to Europe.

Starring reappearing Chris 

Sydney to Canberra

In which the pain of an epic delay is mitigated by ignorance.

Starring a real live person reading a broadsheet newspaper.

Perth to Sydney

In which everyone is disappointed with Cook and things get broken in Broken Hill

Starring Pat who got to Australia the really, really long but extremely cheap way

Perth

In which whale sharks are once again the star performers

Starring Jack the jellyfish killer

Brisbane

In which I have to pretend to be a tree

Starring Minty the reluctant hugger and Smiggins who had completed a basic obedience and behaviour course. 

Puerto Princesa to El Nido and back again

In which the small lagoon is actually rather large and the secret lagoon isn’t that secret

Starring a lady with a mirror ball on her head and an apparently dying man getting it on next door

Bohol to Puerto Princesa

In which we flee the police and have to assume a false identity to go underground

Starring Joey who was not our friend

From Siquijor to Bohol

In which the hills are chocolate and the trees are carpeted. 

Starring German the German and a bunch of knife wielding Russians.

Dumaguete to Siquijor

In which we cadge a ride to a plush resort and Abby discovers that it’s all going to be ok because she’s still in the calendar

Starring Elvis who rows the yacht and a parrot called Macky.

Malapascua to Dumaguete

In which we are approved by the Alien Control Officer, a Scotsman is rescued at sea and the Danes tutor an unwilling German in kissing

Starring Brent who thought we were all “bloody naive” and a Canadian who could count to two.

Malapascua

In which another New Year leads to dejavu and we miss one festival but stumble upon another.  

Starring Janet whose dog had issues and Chuck (from Texas).

Donsol

In which we are featured in a television snippet

Starring Cassandra whose prophecies of doom were unheeded.

Sagada to Vigan via Baguio

In which love saves a city, St Paul’s is not St Paul’s and Tchaikovsky makes things very awkward.

Starring a procession of kids celebrating Santa Ninio, and Joel, Cartayo and Saluman who wanted to have their picture taken. 

From Banaue to Sagada

In which we are encouraged to see the “real bones” and coffins go flying on Friday 13^th

Starring three babies in a jeepney and a very shy guide who couldn’t get enough betel nut. 

Banaue

In which the money comes to life and Grandpa is put in the closet

Starring a drunk construction worker called Lloyd

Manila to Banaue

In which having bought new hiking boots, I land up walking barefoot and there is a lake of indeterminate depth

Starring Doc who wasn’t a doctor and a tuba player who showed me his pants.

Manila

In which I jump out of a moving taxi, get the fear and then get over it.

Starring a little old lady who ducked under my umbrella and a taxi driver who shared his lunch

Kuala Lumpur Part IV

In which I run out of tourist attractions and have my first run in with bed bugs.

Starring Kellie Netherwood and the coconut man (again!)

Ko Wai to Lonely Beach

In which we are tormented by jetski riders and stay in a construction site

Starring a taxi driver’s dog and a woman whose surname was Beer!