Kunming to Luang Prabang

In which a tyre explodes and an elephant is narrowly missed

And starring a lawyer with very stinky feet

Tiger Leaping Gorge & Lijang

In which there is an itinerary mutiny.

Starring an orchestra who nap between songs.

Dali, Shaxi and Shangri-La

In which I become a tourist attraction.

Starring a little old lady who hands out pears that taste like apples.

Pingyao to Xian and then Kunming

In which muddy warriors are tirelessly resisted.

Starring an expert in Chinese Medicine who taught me how to say ‘I don’t understand’

Beijing to Pingyao

In which we learn that happiness comes before love.

Starring Anna Ergova, master tea buyer.

Ulaanbataar to Beijing

In which the entire train (with us in it) is lifted into the air

Starring a girl who had taught herself English

Irkutsk to Ulaanbataar

In which it takes 7 hours to travel 20kms

Starring a persistent temple keeper who demanded to see flesh

Irkutsk and Lake Baikal

In which we get whipped with birch leaves

Starring the Decembrist’s wives

Moscow to Irkutsk (The Trans-Siberian Railway)

In which we travel through time to have a beer

Starring a howling man from third class